Caring For Difficult People at End of Life

When they get angry and lash out.

I support the right of death doulas and loved ones to establish boundaries. Abuse from anyone, at any stage of life, is not okay. But when we commit to caring for difficult folks and find ourselves struggling, Unconditional Positive Regard (UPR) helps.

UPR is a concept that describes accepting and supporting someone without judgment, regardless of their actions or words. It's also known as "client-centered therapy."

Unconditional Positive Regard: The Details

UPR is a concept created by humanist psychologist Carl Rogers. Death doulas practice this philosophy as well, which means we accept a person just as they are, with no conditions. Providing care for everyone at the end of life is rooted in strong principles and our recognition of shared humanity. It acknowledges the complexity of human relationships and the potential for growth, healing, and reconciliation even in the final stages of life.

This isn’t always easy.

Sometimes, clients might share with me some views I find horrific. Perhaps…