Conversations After a Terminal Diagnosis: 4 Questions to Get Started

You’re going to have to have some discussions or conversations after a terminal diagnosis. No one wants to have them, but they’re necessary.

I’ve mediated lots of tender talks where my clients and loved ones plan for a supported death experience. These discussions are sometimes difficult and often sad, but they don’t have to be uncomfortable.

Most of my clients tell me, at the end of these conversations, that they feel so much better than they thought they would. So let's dive into how I make that happen.

How to Begin a Conversation About Death

When gathering with loved ones to discuss a serious illness or plans for an expected death, what’s the best way to get started? Consider hiring a death doula like me or include a supportive loved one who facilitates with compassion and keeps the conversation moving along.

Gather someplace quiet, if you can, and take a deep breath. Light a candle. Sometimes sitting at the kitchen table with a good meal facilitates conversation. Some of my clients prefer sitting outside on the porch or in a quiet park.

We often begin with a prayer, inspirational words, or a poem.

"We live within borrowed ti…