Happy Birthday To You

Birthday rituals after your person (or relationship) dies.

When someone dies or a relationship ends, we don’t just forget the person’s birthday, right? That date isn’t magically erased from our consciousness. But what can we do about it?

What are some healthy birthday rituals? Ways to acknowledge that special day, even when we can’t share it with the celebrant.

Is that even a thing? And is it OK?

Celebrating a Deceased Loved One’s Birthday

Post-death birthday commemorations honor your special person’s memory and keep their spirit alive. Here are some birthday rituals and activities I’ve worked on with clients over the years.

Cemetery Visits

Many of my clients find comfort in visiting the grave on birthdays and other special dates, like wedding anniversaries. We bring flowers, candles, rocks, or other tokens of remembrance to lay on the tombstone.

Spending a few precious moments there, talking to them, and “visiting” feels cathartic.

Cleaning up the grave site and ensuring it's well-maintained is also a thoughtful gesture.

Sharing a Meal

My clients and …