How I Make Meaningful Amends

Say "I'm sorry" and to say it well.

Apologizing in a heartfelt way is a skill and an art - and I have had LOTS of practice. Typically, the benefits of apologizing are felt by the person doing the thing, but it also benefits the receiver to know that they mean enough to warrant an "I'm sorry."

As a death doula, I see these benefits in new and powerful ways.

What Haunts People When They’re Dying?

We all define a "good" life and death differently. I’ve never seen any two lives, or deaths, that are exactly alike. However, if there are any commonalities among people at the end of their lives, perhaps it’s this:

• The harm you do to others comes back to you.

• The kindness you do to others comes back, too.

• Harmful actions seem to weigh more.

Many death workers report similar findings. It’s interesting to note that the five essential statements people feel compelled to make before they die (I love you, I forgive you, thank you, I’m sorry, and goodbye) can be said anytime.

So, let’s explore how to apologize.

How to Say You’re Sorry

Many of u…