“I want an orgasm before I die.”

Where sex-positive and death-positive movements meet.

I just finished watching Dying for Sex. An inspiring true story about a woman who goes on a quest to, among other things, experience an orgasm with someone (for the first time) before she dies. More on that later.

Almost five years ago, I seriously considered working with sex therapists and their clients as a surrogate. It seemed to me that too many men were sexually frustrated. This frustration often led to violence, unhealthy relationships, and self-harm.

I thought maybe I could help.

For many reasons, I decided that wasn’t the best choice for me. But I was struck by how death doulas and sex workers are so similar.

Sex and Death Positive Movements

The intersection between sex-positive and death-positive movements covers a lot of ground. There’s a shared mission to break cultural taboos. For too many people, sex and death are mysterious and confusing.

Death doulas and sex workers (including therapists and surrogates) encourage open conversations about these fundamental human experiences. W…