Is Deathwork Depressing?

It's lots of things...but depressing isn't one of them.

When someone finds out that I’m working with people at end-of-life, as a doula, they either:

• run

• tell me about their experience with loss

• get curious and ask lots of questions, or

• mumble something like, "Oy, that must be depressing."

When they ask about the emotional toll this takes on my psyche, I gently tell them that I wouldn't do this work if it were depressing. In fact, I usually say, serving people at the end of life is the exact opposite of depressing. It's life-affirming.

Here’s why.

Deathwork is Rewarding

Getting through the dying process is difficult. Responsibilities abound, and arrangements must be made. A terminal illness also brings with it emotional and psychological issues. And if a client faces this alone, everything seems heavier for them.

A death doula cushions the blows.

For example, I coordinate care and errands. This frees up the client to do other, more enjoyable things with the time they have left. I write eulogies, obituaries, and life stories.

These remind my clients…