Sitting Shiva: A Guide

Here's what to do if you're planning a Shiva or attending one.

A few years ago, my family experienced a loss when my mother-in-law died. Since we’re Jewish, we began to prepare our home and schedules for a weeklong Shiva in her memory.

I converted to Judaism long ago, but this was the first time that we held Shiva in our home. Non-Jewish friends and my Irish-Catholic family members had no idea how to help. Even some of my Jewish relatives had no idea what to do.

So I created this Sitting Shiva Etiquette Guide. I hope it helps Gentiles, inexperienced Jews, and anyone who might find themselves in similar circumstances.

Shiva For Reform Jews

Most modern Jewish families like ours are not Orthodox. We do not follow strict protocols or rules surrounding the Shiva tradition. My husband, two sons, and I fall somewhere between the Reform and Conservative denominations, leaning more toward Reform.

Therefore, most Shiva Guides don’t really apply to us. Perhaps this article is of service in that regard. Just keep in mind the lens through which it is written – mo…